Playing with Fire by Lexi Ryan

Author:Lexi Ryan [Ryan, Lexi]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Tags: Romance
Publisher: Lexi Ryan
Published: 0101-01-01T00:00:00+00:00

* * *

Nix

Thirteen years ago . . .

The click of my bedroom door closing yanks my attention from my book.

“You haven’t been around much,” Patrick says.

Since what happened in the honeymoon cabin, I’ve done the majority of my living in the pages of books and as little as possible in my own world. Luckily, no one seems to mind my reading habits as long as I do my chores, show up for worship every evening, and complete my requisite “supply runs”—a.k.a. burglaries. You see, the rich are worshipping a false god in their wealth, so says Vicar Jeremiah, and this justifies his disciples stealing what they need. Whatever. I did as much from time to time before moving here. Everyone has morals until they have an empty belly.

I frown as Patrick sits on the edge of my bed. “Should you be here?” Mom and Amy are across the camp learning quilting from one of the vicar’s wives, so Patrick and I are literally alone behind closed doors, and I’m not sure that’s a good idea.

“I’ve been praying about what happened in the honeymoon cottage. Every moment I’m awake, I set my mind to it. Praying. Asking for forgiveness. Promising God I’ll do whatever it takes to repent.”

I close my eyes. It’s not like he’s tarnishing a beautiful experience for me—it was more traumatic than beautiful—but it still hurts, and his remorse is only another reminder on top of the hundreds I get every day that I don’t belong here.

“I asked Him for a sign,” he says. He lifts his eyes to mine, and the pain in them makes my heart hurt for him. “Because every moment I’m not praying, I’m thinking about touching you again.”

I fold my arms over my chest. “Patrick . . .”

“I asked God for a sign. I asked him to tell me which path I’m supposed to take, which way I’m supposed to go, and when I opened my eyes, the camp was covered in clouds, but a single beam of sunlight shone down onto your cabin.” He shakes his head. “I thought you were Satan’s temptation when all this time you’ve been God’s gift. I should have known before. That’s why He saved you from the fire. For me.”

He holds my face in his hands, and I’m so horribly lonely that I welcome his lips touching mine. When he climbs on top of me, I spread my thighs to take him. He’s gentler this time, and when he leaves, he’s smiling instead of angry, but I’m just confused.

I still don’t want to be here, and even if Patrick believes our intimacy is God’s will, I know the others won’t see it that way. What we’re doing is dangerous, but in a life where I’ve been starved for attention, I’ll take any scraps I can get. Even if they’re tainted by guilt and fear.

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